What would Starhub write to me?

Dear Mr Khalid Bari,

We like to thank you for your loyal support over the years. Your loyalty and support to the company have made what we are now. A global company. A global company that strives to be a well known household name which puts our customers first above all the rest. We thank you.

Our record shows that you have been our loyal customer for 9 bloody years. That is close to a decade huh.

So why are you being such an asshole. After all these years, you decided turn your back on us. You are being a real bitch, do you know that?

It is already bad that we lost the f*ckin EPL bid to Singtel. Those stinkin Brits just want more money. Pretty ironic that the EPL owned by a bloody bank right?

By the way, do you know how much we bid?! A LOT!!! That is how much we bid. We bid a lot. I even break my daughter's piggy bank to raise our bids.

But nooooo....it was not enough. To think about it, we have been a loyal partner with the EPL for many years, then poooh! They sold out just because the other guy placed a higher bid. They are Singtel for f*ck sakes! Sing-F*ckin-Tel. They have an F1 race after their bloody name!

And what happened after they have announced that Singtel won the bid. You bitches decided to bail on us...You bailed on us because you want to watch football. C'mon, it just football. You can watch the S-league for free right?

Anyway, F*ck Football. Cricket. That is a man's sport. And WE have Cricket Channel.

Then, you have your IPhones. According to our records, you bitch on us because you want to get yourself an Iphone. Guess what, Iphones are for faggots. And you are a faggot. Just like those other faggots who owe iphone. That piece of shit phone don't even have a decent ringtone.

Anyway, thanks for your 'support' asshole.

Sincerely

The nice people from Starhub.

PS: IPHONE ARE FOR FAGS !

So, the World is coming to an End

Hey Gang

For the last week, I was down with a pretty bad asthma. For once, I have humbled myself as I felt like shit. I started blaming the whole world for giving me this diease.

Well, I sure was not in the right state of mind. As the world was in awe, I actually did not know about the earthquakes, typhoons, floods, man-eating monkeys that had occurred almost simultaneously around parts of Asia.

I was...damn? That's f*cked up.

I have to be honest for a while. I only got to know about those disaster courtesy of the various advertisements calling out for aids and funds that were shown every bloody five minutes on the TV. AND I don't give a shit.

Before you guys start to be judgmental of what I just said, I would like to ask you a question.

Do YOU care?

Auwww. So you do care. But having empathy is different from doing something to help the suffering isn't it?

It's like this...You see a stray cripple dog and you feel sad for it. But as it gets near to you, you walk away.

So you might say, So what is your point, asshole?

My point is this.

Being an insensitive prick is better than being a hypocritical rightous dochebag.

Peace.

So I have a weird behaviour...

Hey Gang

I have a few weird behaviours.

One of them, I like to talk to myself when no one is around. I call it 'REFLECTING LOUDLY'

The second one is more of er... 'healthy obsession'. Well, heading to the gym is one of it but this is more 'private'.

I like to take a crap.

Long, nice, uninterrupted crap.

Image courtesy of SouthPark Studios

I know you may think I am a disgusting prick but hey, at least I dun fart to your face right?

Anyways... what constitute a good crap?

Firstly, it must be a clean toilet. Nothing beats a white sparking bowl for you to dump a hot fudge sundae.

Secondly, it must be quiet. You need to concentrate on your own crap. Patiently awaiting that inevitable 'blurp'.

Don't ever get distrated by your neighbour fiery firecracker.













Image taken from http://media.photobucket.com/image/firecracker/carloslorenzo\


And if you are going to give out a firecracker, please use the courtesy flush.

Thirdly, you must not rush out the chocolate eel. It will break. What you want is your eel to float (or sink) in one solid piece.

Image taken from www.englishexercises.org

We don't want to have two brown slugs. We want ONE chocolate eel ok? So don't rush it.

That is why I hate taking a crap in the morning. Not only you can't concentrate on what you are doing, you have to content with people knocking your toilet door and worse, the smell of toasted bread.

Come people. You know how weird is it to take a dump and think of food.

Man. That is disgusting.

Enjoi.

So, I am getting old....

Hey gang

I celebrated my 27th birthday a few weeks back. And thanks for those well wishes, my friends.

I am those who you would say, "Old but young at heart." Or "Don't be childish, you are already an adult". Or like a famous Malay proverb..."Tua tak sadar diri...."

Image Credits to TheSimpsons.com

I have the privilege to spent my special day with the only special girl Nadd. There is nothing more special than being able to be with her. And also the presents....because at 27th, you are expected not to get any.



So this is what I got from Nadd.....



A PlayMobil Soccer Pitch playset.

F*ckin Awesome.

We had dinner at Seoul Garden (F*ckin Teengers...) and a cultured tea session at Royal Copenhagen Tea Lounge at Ngee Ann City (F*ckin Pompous Cooperate Bastards).



And all I can say, the blueberry cheesecake is tha BONG! Screw the rest...they don't call themselves ROYAL Copenhagen for nothing.

I like to end here with a simple quote by me.

When you are happy, Time feels short.
When you are miserable, Time feels endless.
When you are with that special someone,
Time Stops.

Enjoi.

____________________________________________

What I did when I got home....

KICK OFF!

















CRAZY TACKLE !!




STOMPING !!!





















G G G GOOOOAAAAAALLLLLLL !!!!!



...I just realised I was playing with dolls.

Damn it.