Justice for All...?

Hey Gang

If you are those positive individuals and think Life is fair...You are an idiot my friend.

For instance, if you get mugged or robbed by a dude, you will lose what you have today. Your cash, jewellery, your watch, etc... All that in exchange for your life. Not a bad deal, I might add. You still will live the next day right?
And there is a high chance the dude who robbed you will go to jail. Simple right?

(Image courtesy of MacDonalds)


Now if your life savings get jacked by a sweet talking banker in the recent economic crisis, you are fu*ked!

(Image courtesy of Hasbro)

Why? You will die broke. You have been saving up for 40 years to realize you have to work for ANOTHER 40 years. Ain't that a bitch? Not only your saving get robbed, so is your future...

Now, the worst part is this. A guy who robbed you off your $50 at a knife point will go to jail for quite a long time. The thing is the banker who robbed you off your thousand and thousands dollars that you have worked for and more importantly, your ideal future that you been dreaming off as a comfort away from your dull work, he just lose his job....which he will get a new one soon.

Low crime doesn't mean no crime.

Big Time crime really means no crime.

Nobody goes to jail. right?


Enjoi

PS: Expect slower orders at your fastfood restraurant y'all. Old people working.
(Images courtesy of The Muppets Studio)

Too Gay Around (If you are PRO-GAY, don't read)

Hey Gang

The downside of having too much time and too little cash is that you tend to think a lot. As for me, I have been thinking a lot about the society. Yes, I am very bored lately. Straight to the point, I think it is no more a Man's world now. (Shit, it never was in the first place) Nor it's a Woman's world. It's a new world.

Now it is the new dawn for Man...and Woman.

The NEW DAWN FOR FAGGOTS! (Argh!!!!!!)



It comes to my attention that everything is turning gay lately. Like, there is an overwhelming gay-ness in the air. Sure, at first it is called metrosexual. What is Metrosexual by the way?

Sexually Metropolitan?
What the hell that means? What I know it is just a more classy term for 'Faggot'.

Which real dude wants to be pretty?
Well I don't. I don't bath on Sundays. I don't shampoo my hair. I wash my face with the same bar of soap I wash my armpits with. And I pluck my nosehair, manually. That's all macho-ness for you there.

One of the reasons I believe why there is an uprising of the gay culture is the trash we see on our dear TV. In every reality show, there must be a gay dude. Check it out; American Top Model, there is a gay judge.

Wait, he ain't gay. He is downright a hemophrodite freak!
Oh, May God Bless Your Mum's Soul....



What is uglier than an ugly dog? An Ugly Faggot.

Survivor? Richard, the first winner is a fag. Even though some of the seasons did not have gays in them, but all those gossiping and back-stabbing (Back Stabbing, get it?) are all signs of gayness.

The Amazing Race? If you recall, there were faggots. A pair won in Season 4 and you know what are hilarious about it? You know when they highlight the contestants, they will indicate whether they are Married, Mother and Son, Separated, etc. The cool part is that for the fags, they indicate 'DATING' or 'PARTNERS'.
Gee, that is quite misleading.


C'mon. Be direct.

Write 'GAY LOVERS' or 'HOMOSEXUALS'.
Or simply 'BUTT BUDDIES'.
That should clear the air.

Talent shows? The stupid ass singing and dancing competition? That is downright promoting queer-ness. I have to keep it real. I can't dance. I can't sing.
Why?
Because I am a dude. Not a fag.



Real men don't dance or sing for votes!
You will never EVER hear a guy say, "Bro, you sing nice sial..."
Or "Hey man, I like the way you joget (dance). Power."

If any guy says that kind of shit to me, expect a nice F*CK YOU! And a punch to the nuts.

Even cars are catered to the masses of the ass-lovers. Why? Check out their names lah.

Chery QQ? Honda JAZZ? Hyundai SONATA? Nissan SYLPHY? Perodua VIVA?Renault MEGANE? Toyota COROLLA?

Those are faggot names! If you disagree, try giving your son those names.
Say,"Viva. Say hello to Uncle Megane...."



Oh I forgot about Nissan 350z. Or should I say Nissan FAIRLADY?

And here is a list of Top Ten Gay Cars for your reading pleasure.
Oh, Mitsubishi Lancer GTS is voted Best Car for Gay Teens.
Ha, ha, ha....Drift Kings? Nope, Drag Queens.

So guys, forget about the Great China Invasion.
Not need to complain about getting the wrong order cos the waiter does not understand English.
The Faggots are the new invaders.
And they will invade your ass one day. (*Guys' only)

Protect thy sons!

Enjoi.

PS: I don't hate gay people. I hate their culture. They talked too much.
And yes, I will disown my son if he is gay.

I am too old

Hey Gang

I am 26. That's kinda of a big deal. Friends who are around my age are married. Some have kids. Take for example, my friend Apis.



We are friends for over fifteen years. That's a damn long time. Now, he's married and have a daughter...Nurarina.



It is an incomplete name by the way. Her full name is kinda long. It's a trend nowadays. Now, it is typical to have a name to consist of 3 other names. Which is kinda weird because only one name will be used eventually.

Anyway, she is my goddaughter.

And that makes me ...



Sweeeeet!

Enjoi.

As the year ends....

Hey Gang

As the year ends, a lot of crap kept popping up. You know, the ones that make you want to say "What The F*CK?!"

Here's TOP FIVE list of Stupid Things to end 2008

(FIVE)

Arsenal. Beat Chelsea and Man Utd. Lost to FIVE crappy clubs. A Real bummer.




(FOUR)

Too much crap on TV. And I thought Alley McBeal was over.




(THREE)

Recession. Too much ass-kissing to the Americans have their drawbacks.




(TWO)

Terrorism. Ok, I am going to keep it real. I am getting very sick about Lo Hwei Yen news. Ok, her death is a wake-up call to Singaporeans about terrorism and we have to protect blah, blah, blah..... She is dead. Get over it.
Wrong place, wrong time. So the f*ck what?

Tupac and Biggie died that way too. Tragic, yes. Sensational News?

What I do not get it was WHY THE HELL we have THREE full pages dedicating to her? Not to mention, over a week?

Look, I am not trying to be an asshole but you have to reconsider this...

Instead of Lo Hwei Yen, the young, just married, successful lawyer, rich woman....let's have Ahmad Omar bin Usop. Malay, 50s, taxi driver and having a holiday in Mumbai, in the picture.

Will the whole nation mourn?

Go Figure.




(NUMBER ONE)



AKAN DATNG....Cos the year has not ended yet lah.

Enjoi.

Something about me

Hey Gang

I am a strange dude. I do admit that there are more strange stuffs about me that even made me go What-the-f*ck?!

Here's a Top Ten list of Top Ten Things that proves I am freakin weird!



10) Laugh at anyone who falls on their ass. I mean ANYONE. Heck, I may even laugh at my own mom.

9) I can't spell. Oh, it has to be more than 3 syallbles to the word.

8) Find the mentally insane hilarious.

7) Runs on Work. Not food.

6) Hates odd numbers.

5) Talks to my own brain.

4) Can't remember sequence of random numbers. Nor reciting them. Numbers must be more than 4 digits. If the number is 45283, I would likely say 45823. Damn, always wanted to be a banker.

3) Able to sleep standing up. The forgotten skill for all NS men.

2) Hates Japanese food. Freakin ripoffs.

1) I have to listen to the sound of running water while taking a crap.




Sweet.

Enjoi.

The Great Science Experiment!

Hey Gang,

The holidays are here but I ain't getting much good night rest. I tend to wake up with bites all over my body. At first I thought they were mosquito bites since it has been raining lately. But the strange thing was the bites tend to happen at the same places on my body. My arms, feet, back and shoulders.


Nadd told me that it could be bedbugs.
Bedbugs? Can't be serious right? That is so ghetto. I mean aren't bedbugs are shit that only kampung people have? You know during our parents time, this problem was a norm. Like having bedbugs is like having acne. Something like that?



















I was wrong. I was youtube-ing for videos on bedbugs since I have never seen one in my lifetime. Do check em' out. Boy, they are disgusting. They mentioned to look for them along the seams of the mattress. Armed with a scotch tape, I carefully examined the unknown world which I have lay rest every night. And this was what I caught.

Brace thyself!



I was so freakin paranoid. I have f*ckin bedbugs on my bed! And that's only one. And you sure know there is no such thing as 'A' bedbug. There must be more! C'mon, this fella must have a mummy, a daddy, sisters, brothers, cousins, foster parents, neighbours....Argh! Whatever it is, THEY MUST BE DESTROY!!!

I put on my BEDBUG exterminator attire and armed with some A-Class chemical Weapon.

BEHOLD!
Attire Alpha

A Kustom Cap to keep the bugs from taking refuge in my head.
A pair of Polarized RayBans Aviators to look cool while doing a shitty job.
A white cloth that I got from the recent NP BigWalk to keep the bugs from taking refuge in my mouth.
Better safe than sorry.
But I need more protection!


BEHOLD!
Attire Bravo

O'Neal Monster Helmet. Light weight. Garang Colours.
Scott Goggles. Anti-Fog. Light weight.
Well...this attire is for fun only. No real funtions to wearing it. Hee.

OPERATION : Kill the Buggers Begins.



Step 1. Check for the seams of the mattress.
Those bugs love it there. As you can see on my mattress, there are some black spots. Those spots my friends aren't spots.





Look closer!



Spots my ass.

With a can of Baygon (which supposed to be used on mosquitoes) in my hand and Iron Maiden at the background, I totally nuked those damn buggers. No place to hide. No refuge. No escape. Ha! Check out my kill trophy.



Impressive huh? Well, I wasn't that satisfied even though they were dead.
They were blood suckers for god's sake and worse, they sucked MY blood.
They have to be freakin destroyed!
And how do we deal with these miniature blood suckers.
Well, obviously garlic, a cross and impalement do not work on them.

So what's the next best thing?



We freakin BURN them!

Before I can rest again on my bed, I need my Supervising Officer to check the mattress again if it is safe.
















As my Supervising Officer is super kilat, she also check if there's any bugs in my drink.


















Man, she is so kilat.

Enjoi (Dun let the bedbugs bite)

I Have a .... Problem

Hey Gang













I have a problem.
I can't manage Time.
It took me a week to realize this. Stats can never lie. I can either be too early or too late. A lil early or a lil late. NEVER ON TIME.

No no. It does not apply on handing in assignments or paying my bill. The problem is I can't be PHYSICALLY there on time. Despite setting 5 minutes earlier on my watch, I tend to appear 5 minutes too late. The Irony!

The thing that I find very peculiar is this.

Time is Money.

But I am very VERY careful with my money. I mean not in a cheapskate kinda way but I will value my dollars and cents before making a purchase. GO for the best deal. Save as much as possible....wait, I do sound like a cheapskate. BUT that's not the point. The point is, Since I can manage my cash, why can't I manage my Time?

So Time is not exactly as valuable as Money if you have put my perspective in consideration.

Broke-ass guys tend to have all the Time in the world right?

On a totally irrelevant note, I spent 80 bucks on this Undefeated Tee.




Sweet.

Enjoi.

I L.O.V.E HER

Hey Gang

If you have been reading my blog so far, I tend not to talk a lot about my personal life. I dimply don't understand people to either bitch about their lives (I am freakin miserable and lonely...blah, blah, blah) or gloat about their lives (I am rich, beaaatch...blah,blah,blah). Who gives a shit.

Anyways, I'm making an assumption for this blog entry. I am not gloating or showing off but to celebrate with you guys the person who made me the best person I can ever be...my true love, Nadd.

(she is now a LOST fan. All those are hers. Honest!)


10/08/08 marks our 3 years being together. I won't deny that I could believe we have been together this long. I mean in a good way, guys. I know most people can't stand me more than one hour. Shit, some people hated me even before meeting me! All except for Nadd.

That day also marks her twenty-'somethin' (not a typo error) birthday. So I bought her Gift #1 - Her birthday gift is ...


Yup. A GUITAR HERO III console. Wait til I tell you what Nadd got for me as an anniversary gift. You will agree that I deserve a Honky Tonk Man smashing his guitar over my big head.



Well, fastforward to the anniversary celebrations. Had lunch, experienced small drizzle, spent time feeding some fishes.
Yes. FEED FISHES. WITH OUR FEET!
GNARLY!

We sure had a blast. Laughing, giggling, shrieking...

Seriously, have a try.
Ignore that 'therapeutic' bullshit.


Nothing beats having small fishes trying to bite the shit outta your feet. Wait, they were 'eating away the dead cells'. Right....Whatever it is, we had a blast.



Next, the blimp.
Also known as That-Yellow-DHL-Hot-Ait-Balloon-That-Nobody-Actually-Cares.
Well, they are closing down soon so before it does, 'getting high' will be something cool to experience together.

Corny, I know.

Btw, do you know that 40+ storeys high, you can actually see four guys holding their balls? No shit...check it out!

Yes, you will see the weirdest things when you are 'high'. (CORNY!)

Soon, the day came to an end. Time to exchange our anniversary gifts. At this point, you know when couples exchanged gifts you very well know that one of them will give a crap gift while the other gave an awesome one...well, same thing happened here.

I present her a Baby-G (Dolphin Edition) Watch. Pretty cool as Nadd loves Pink and Dolphin. And its kinda limited edition so, the more special it is. (Shout out to LUCKY WATCHES and OPTICIAN. They have shitloads of oldskool Casios.)


Now...this was what Nadd got me.





When she placed that famous brown box on my hands and I opened my eyes...the first words that came out was "HOLY CRAP!!!"
I know. Not exactly a romantic thing to say.
I hugged her and laughed and laughed. Tears of joy came soon after.

It is the most expensive gift I ever received. PERIOD!
It was so totally unexpected. What impressed me was not the price of the gift but what it symbolises. Nadd had to sacrifice a great deal to get me this gift. THAT what made me cry. And THAT sacrifice makes me to continue to love her more and more.

So guys, please pray and hope for the best for us. Don't be a hater.

And my dear, I can't say enough how much I love you nor there are reasons for loving you.

To love with stated reasons is to dilute the purest form of Love.

I love you,Nadia.
My Mighty Aphrodite.

Enjoi

Return of the Comic Book Nerds

Hey Gang,

As you have noticed, there are waaaaaay too much comic-to-movie er, movies in the cinemas now. Fortunately, most of them are good. Nadd and I have not been to the movies for the months until we last watched Edward Norton's The Incredible Hulk. I have to emphasize the Edward Norton part. The last movie we watched before that was Cloverfield. So, that was like 6 months in between?...

Nevertheless the hype for The Dark Knight is taking its toll. For comic geeks and the bored Singaporeans. As for me, I'll wait til the seats are clear.

But the story of the day is this....

The release of SILVERHAWKS on DVD!



Can't wait for this. I remember watching these guys on the TV and begging my mum to get the toys. Wow...better check out wiki for more info about these guys.

Wait...the creators of the Silverhawks made ThunderCats (Hooooooooooo....) as well? What the F?
In that case, based on strictly biased logic, Silverhawks sucks just like the ThunderCats (Hooooo......) then. How come I didn't remember that?

Damn it...
My memories are getting screwed up. Better lay off the caffine...

Enjoi

Weezer X YouTube

Hey Gang...its Rivers Coumo and Tay Zonday; the Chocolate Rain guy.

Freakin Hilarious picture.

Enjoi

The Worst "Band" Ever

Hey Gang

Ever wondered why UK music scene sucked? Minus the good bands like MUSE, The Verve, Pulp, Supergrass, Stereophonics. And THE GREAT ONES...RADIOHEAD and The BEATLES.

Oh, Radiohead best songs compilations is out. Get the CD yah.

Anyways...ever wondered about my opening sentence; UK MUSIC SCENE SUCK BALL$....

Well, just a quick trivia for you guys.

Which "band" sold over 50 million records worldwide and had freakin 14 No 1s hits in the UK charts just behind Elvis and The Beatles...The glory goes to these bunch of faggots....WESTLIFE



Yes. WESTLIFE. Until now I have no idea what the name means. Is it because they represent life in the West? Maybe they are the poster boys for a homosexual WestCoast gang.


It does not make sense. At all.

Nevertheless, I was with Nadd checking out DVDs at a record store when we heard an old classic ballad Total Eclipse of the Heart. We were humming along when we realized that something queer about the song. That voice sure didn't sound like Bonnie Tyler. To our horror and disgust...more of disgust, we realized the song was sung by Westlife.

I am not jealous of their looks. I had enough of those cheap-comeback arguments by boybands fans a decade ago. Westlife represents what I like to call a media prostituition. Yes, I am calling them WHORES!

No talent. All looks.
Look that the statistic follks.

50 million records sold.
14 number 1s singles.
61 covered songs.

SIXTY-ONE COVERS? No way.
They used songs that aren't theirs in their CDs freakin SIXTY-ONE times! They jacked songs from ABBA, Extreme, The Eagles (WTF?) and even Mr Big.


They stole songs from these guys...Can't believe that shit. Wait, they even jacked songs from other talentless boybands. Nick Carter, Damage, O-Town. What a bunch of bitches.


Westlife, you are sure a bunch of whores. Pirate Whores.

Enjoi

Return of the Weezer

Finally...a decent song from one of my favourite bands.

A reason to BUY the CD, instead of...

Something I thought of at 3am last night

Hey Gang


I am confused.
It has been a practice for companies or organizations to prohibit their employees to critic or comment any matters regarding their work on their blogs. If they found to do so, the poor sod will be either be fined damn chia-lak or kena sack.

The confusion is this. If you run a crappy organization, is it your employees have the right to bit*h about it?

I mean if it tastes bad, spit it out.
Cause and Effect.

I believe is that the bad companies are just covering up their arse from the public view. No company wants to lose their business because some pencilneck employee decides to open up and complain...in a rather cheap and in-your-face! technique.

Blogging.

The interesting part is this. If the company is found to be a shithole, they will find the best lawyer to cover their shithole up. Best lawyers mean more MONEY.
The deeper and stink-er the shithole is, the more money to flush the crap down.


Isn't it easier just to pay the employees more?
No one will go saying, "My company sucks ass cause they gave me an extra $50 this month".

You do hear friends or family members complain about their work. What do they complain the last after they have listed ALL the crap their work is about?
Their pay.
They will end up saying like this "...and the pay sucks!"


For those crappy companies out there AND know your company stinks...just pay your employees a little kopi money lah. Buy their silence.

An quote from one of the most influential people...."Cash Rules Around Me!"

That's from the Wu Tang Clan.

Enjoi

Yeah Yeah Yeah's - Cheated Hearts

Digging to Yeah Yeah Yeahs....

What we have forgotten about 2007.

Love him or Hate him.

IRAQ is more fu*ked up now than ever before.