Tuesday 9 June 2009

So I have a weird behaviour...

Hey Gang

I have a few weird behaviours.

One of them, I like to talk to myself when no one is around. I call it 'REFLECTING LOUDLY'

The second one is more of er... 'healthy obsession'. Well, heading to the gym is one of it but this is more 'private'.

I like to take a crap.

Long, nice, uninterrupted crap.

Image courtesy of SouthPark Studios

I know you may think I am a disgusting prick but hey, at least I dun fart to your face right?

Anyways... what constitute a good crap?

Firstly, it must be a clean toilet. Nothing beats a white sparking bowl for you to dump a hot fudge sundae.

Secondly, it must be quiet. You need to concentrate on your own crap. Patiently awaiting that inevitable 'blurp'.

Don't ever get distrated by your neighbour fiery firecracker.













Image taken from http://media.photobucket.com/image/firecracker/carloslorenzo\


And if you are going to give out a firecracker, please use the courtesy flush.

Thirdly, you must not rush out the chocolate eel. It will break. What you want is your eel to float (or sink) in one solid piece.

Image taken from www.englishexercises.org

We don't want to have two brown slugs. We want ONE chocolate eel ok? So don't rush it.

That is why I hate taking a crap in the morning. Not only you can't concentrate on what you are doing, you have to content with people knocking your toilet door and worse, the smell of toasted bread.

Come people. You know how weird is it to take a dump and think of food.

Man. That is disgusting.

Enjoi.

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